As we approach the end of a difficult and frustrating year, some would say, it is the perfect time to hit that reset button! Goodbye 2020 (yes, it is here at last!) and hello 2021! (we’ve so been looking forward to seeing you!).
The Big Life Reset
What is a Life Reset and how would we go about it? A life reset is a way of taking stock of the year or event behind you and thinking about the event or year ahead of you and deciding what needs to change. This practice is used effectively in sports science: players reset themselves after a tour or season. It usually manifests as a break away from their sport or daily training – a sort of mini sabbatical, with the purpose of reassessing their past, pondering on what they felt they did well and making decisions and goals to improve their future performance.
A Life Resent is similar in that it is characterized by a short time away where we reflect on the year behind us and focus on the year ahead. It can be optional but it can also sometimes be forced upon us: an ailing father may force us to move closer to care for him, a redundant job may force us out of the corporate world or a divorce may unexpectedly leave us single.
Whether forced or chosen, research has indicated that a life reset holds many benefits, the most obvious being the benefits of change. Perhaps living closer to that ailing father means that we are able to live in the country, our lifelong dream, or the push from the corporate world means we are free to start that business we always wanted to and being single means, we are free to date the cute guy living next door. Every cloud has a silver lining, we have just got to look for it.
The Benefits of a Life Reset
What of the benefits of a deliberate Life Reset? Taking time to think about the year that has passed, take stock, be grateful for the many blessings which in a normal year, we take for granted, and really thinking about how we want the year ahead to be different, is one of the most powerful things we can do. Why? Because it forces us to pause, think, reflect, and evaluate, things which in the rush of everyday life, we usually never have time for. Also, the year that we have all had to endure was not easy, so taking the time to pat ourselves on the back, acknowledge our achievements and ponder what we have learned, is a way of practicing great resilience. Acknowledging the feelings that we have experienced during the year, such as fear, anxiety, worry or confusion, is a way to practice great self-awareness, which is one of the foundations of emotional intelligence/ EQ.
Doing a Life Reset is a form of self-care. We care enough about ourselves to acknowledge what we have been through and care enough about our futures to plan for the year ahead.
In its very nature, the Life Reset forces us to evaluate ourselves, which is a great habit to foster. When we evaluate, we are made (sometimes all too painfully) aware of our faults but we focus on our strengths to move us forward. It is the yin yang that makes coaching so powerful: I’m currently here……but I want to be there……. I have achieved X but still want to achieve Y. Things didn’t go according to plan A, but this is my Plan B! It’s the tension between the two points that so powerfully motivates us to improve and get better. This is true resilience. Learning from our mistakes and trials.
So how do we go about creating an effective Life Reset?: Here are 5 tips:
- Create a Quiet Space: Not all of us have the luxury to be able to get away or go on a staycation, however, creating a quiet space such as a quiet room far away from any distractions, is key to ensuring that the time away is undisturbed. Ensuring that our 2-year-old cannot disturb you, putting away technology such as laptops, mobile phones etc. and asking your loved one’s not to disturb, is essential to ensuring that your time away is undisturbed and distraction free. Decide on the timing. Will this be a one day or a one-week event? This is truly a personal decision, but whatever time you can afford, make sure that it is quality time. Using breathing and meditation to calm your mind and focus your thoughts will also help to put your mind in the right space
- Record Your Thoughts: Having on hand a notebook and pen or a distraction free device will enable the recoding of your thoughts as they transpire. Be free and be honest with yourself. This is your life and nobody can live it but you.
- Start With the Current: As we do in coaching, starting with what is currently happening is good practice. Record in summary what has transpired over the year, first including the facts and then record your feelings and the effect that the events have had on you personally. Acknowledge your emotions, being mindful of what you have come through. List your accomplishments and give yourself credit for all that you have achieved. It has been a rough year and despite this – you made it through! What have you learned? What mistakes did you make and what did not turn out as you had hoped? What was your mindset during 2020? What is your silver lining?
- Create a Compelling Vision for 2021: Now, think about the year 2021, what would you like to change? What do you have the power to change, what do you have to accept? What opportunities lie ahead? How can you use them to your advantage? What do you want your mindset in 2021 to be? What does your ideal life in 2021 look like? Try to think of this from all angles of your life such as your health, your finances, your family and relationships, your career and your interests and hobbies. What areas of your life do you need to reset?
- Create an Action Plan: Setting a few life goals for yourself and/or your family is the purpose here, but even if you come away with just a few actions that you need to take in the first few months of the year, this is a great start. Being over-ambitious is a common stumbling block in coaching and it is an easy mistake to make. Start with the easiest tasks or changes first. Want to give up smoking and cut sugar from your diet? Start with what you will find the easiest – perhaps it’s as simple as reducing the amount of junk food you eat. Start small, reward yourself for the wins and then let the momentum help you to move to the more difficult goals. Keep a journal throughout the year to record your success and to refer to at the same time next. The difficult part of executing any goals is the execution itself, but guess what? You are a Covid-19 survivor – you’ve got this!
Doing a Life Re-set on your own is possible but much more effective with a coach. For help and further information please contact me HERE
